Wanders and exploration

The aimless wander is a particular friend of mine. This is the wander, by bike or foot or whatever, in which I have no real destination and though maybe a sort of general idea of a goal (“I saw a lake on the map, maybe I will find it!” or “Maybe I will end up at the store and get groceries!”), no actual attachment to doing or getting to anywhere specific. It is a wander purely for the sake of exploration, to see what there is and enjoy what I find.

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(wander along the Middle Fork of the Snoqualmie River — a particularly scenic wander from last weekend:) Not all aimless wanders are this overtly naturally beautiful, though all are lovely in their own way:)

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Aimless wanders are sometimes easier in places that are unfamiliar to me, where exploration feels like a more natural goal than it might at home in Portland. This weekend, for example, I was up in North Bend, Washington for work, and though I’ve been there a few times now for work things, it still feels new and largely unfamiliar. I brought my bike, and in the in-between moments, used it to wander. I didn’t have any large chunks of time off and I didn’t have a lot of mental energy, but I did have some stolen moments of aimlessness.

I didn’t “go anywhere” in particular, but I did sit by the South Fork of the Snoqualmie River. I said hi to some pigs. I watched swallows dive for insects. It was goal-less, it was aimless, and it was the best possible thing for my soul. Especially as a balm for otherwise feeling very over-scheduled and slightly overextended.

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(Snoqualmie Valley Trail, the beginning of most of my wanders last weekend)

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Even in Portland, though, the aimless wander is one of my favorite things. Who knows what random flower or bird or neighbor out and about I will find in the streets near our house where I’ve walked a million miles and yet still always see something new? Who knows what I will discover when I take a turn onto a bike boulevard that I’ve never taken before and follow it to wherever it may go?

The other evening, I bike-escorted James up to an event he had, and since he was early we wandered, ending up in a park where I stayed for a good while to lie in the grass and read my book and then ultimately take the long way home — something I wouldn’t have even thought to plan before we left but that ended up being the perfect thing for my evening.

Aimlessness and exploration like this makes me feel fully opulent, like the world is full of infinite unknown possibilities that unfurl themselves as I take each new step.

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(sunset wander with my old bikey:) (side note: this bike is almost 20 years old!!)

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It is easy sometimes for me to steamroll the aimless wander in the course of normal life when there are things to do and places to be. Sometimes, when there are pressing things, it feels selfish or wrong somehow to carve out time to do… nothing in particular. To see what happens. Sometimes it feels hard to say no to something not because I already have plans and thus can’t, but purely for the sake of having an evening free. And yet, when I don’t make time for aimlessness, I find myself getting cranky. I find that I need swaths of unplanned, unclaimed space — space to roam and play and discover without beforehand knowing what it’s for.

So, this is just an ode to aimlessness, to having the space to follow a whim, to take a new turn, to try something different with no goal and no expectations, to see what happens.

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