I’ve started this post a few times, and I keep getting it wrong. And I think the thing is, I keep trying to write about how much I love it when people come to Portland and are willing to explore via our loaner bicycles with us. Which is true, and is also a thing I keep meaning to write about, but keeps falling flat for me because it’s not the thing.
I think I just need to admit that really, this is about my dear friend Ricardo.
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(picture by Ricardo <3 )
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I met Ricardo on our very first day of high school when I sat behind him in first period, twenty seven years ago. And over twenty seven years, Ricardo has been there to witness the person I am and have become. We have staked out high school crushes and tricky family situations from the back of his family’s minivan. We drove the four-hour round trip to San Francisco countless times in the wee hours of the morning, pretending to be at other friends’ houses. We talked on the phone until 3 or 4 in the morning (omg I can’t believe I could stay up so late then!). He slept at my house when his house wasn’t safe. My mom once helpfully washed two small glasses in the bathroom that unfortunately he had used as impromptu containers for his contact lenses while he slept, and the next day we had to make an emergency mission to his house to sneak in and find his backup contacts. Our Spanish teacher (and probably a lot of other folks) were convinced we were dating.
We have maintained our friendship across years and time differences and countries; we have traveled together and taken absurd pictures of each other that were really just excuses to take pictures of the hot men behind us. He is family; he knows me well enough to tell me kindly but honestly when I am being ridiculous, and I know that he’s right. He can help me see myself in ways that I never could on my own.
So, though Ricardo and his partner Ron were just in Portland, and though I was so psyched to ride bikes around to explore with them, it turns out that this is really not about the biking but about the friendship. It’s about the ties that never die and the way we can see our lives reflected back to us from the dearest of friends — sometimes closer than other times, and mostly from opposite sides of the country, but always there on the other side of the phone.
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(Take your Ricardo to work day!:)
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Ricardo and Ron were in Oregon as a sort of combo visit that was partly work for Ricardo, partly time to see his sister who is also in Oregon, and also time to stay with us in Portland. I was bummed that I had to work on Saturday, the first full day of their Portland time, but keeping with the game-for-anything theme, Ricardo came to work with me. This is actually much more awesome than it seems, since it means that on his sweet Oregon vacation, he signed himself up to get up super early and do trail work all morning with a group of other volunteers, all of whom together hauled over 14 TONS of gravel onto a trail we’re rehabilitating. Right? I mean, gosh, I do so very much love my job, but it’s my thing, and it was definitely above and beyond to do all that work with me — but such a gift for me to be able to share it with my friend.
So maybe given that, it was not surprising that both Ricardo and Ron were down to adventure via bicycle the next day. It was maybe the most “Portland” of days ever: we got up, schemed a brunch adventure, biked over to brunch, and had to wait for a table (of course). So we wandered over to the Montavilla farmer’s market while we waited, toured the market, bought some vegan cheese and sampled all the hot sauces. Hot sauced out, we finally got to eat brunch, biked to the top of Mt Tabor, biked to a nerdy game store, biked to the Willamette River, biked to Powell’s, quested for the gayberhoods, biked to the rose gardens in Ladd’s Addition, and even made it home before it started raining.
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(cuties exploring Portland, Mt Tabor edition. Picture by James:)
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Ron kept pointing out all the “cutie houses” in the neighborhoods we biked through; Ricardo asked about so many of the different trees; we never had a real plan (other than brunch) but by virtue of being on our bicycles we just kept doing the next appealing thing which in sum total became a lovely day of exploration. And I like to think that Ricardo and Ron actually got to see Portland, see the ways the neighborhoods work together, see the way you can get through the city so efficiently on a bicycle. We could stop at any moment to literally smell the roses or look at some random thing; we never had to worry about parking at Powell’s. It was great. And a much different day than it would have been had we been destination-focused, driving to various far-flung places to do all the “right” Portland things rather than seeing all the in-betweens of real Portland life along the way.
So I guess this was extra special for me. Not only was it being able to show people Portland in the absolute best way to see the city (in my totally unbiased opinion, heh), but it was getting to share my life with someone who has been such an important part of it for so long, but who hasn’t really been part of the Portland part of it. I think maybe it was so meaningful because I feel like my dear friend got to see my life and my city very much true to the way I experience it, which feels important somehow.
And now that I’ve put words to that for myself, I’m doubly committed to seeing my friends’ places in the way that they, too see them, as a way to better understand the people who are important to me.
So, yes, I love it when people come to Portland and are willing to bike around to see it, and that thing that I keep trying and failing to write is true. But maybe I need to add this dimension, that getting to share my city in this way with people who are so important to me feels like not only helping someone have a fun time in Portland but also really sharing the essence of my life, of what I love and how I live — and that feels really special to me if folks are willing to receive it.